theSketchDb

ISIS Toyata

Gilly and Keeves

8 1 rating

Sketch Info

A man with an unfortunate last name is surrounded by friends begging him to capitalize on it.

Quotes

0:01
Bob Isis (Shane Gillis)

Hello, I'm Bob Isis of Isis Toyota, and we have a great collection of pre-owned certified Toyotas. But there's one thing I want to make very clear, and it's that we have nothing to do with the terrorists over there in the Middle East right now.

0:14
Bob Isis (Shane Gillis)

And that's why we are the good Isis.

0:29
Bob Isis (Shane Gillis)

We're not wishing death to any of our enemies. We are wishing death to low- to high prices.

0:48
Bob Isis (Shane Gillis)

At ISIS Toyota, we have nothing to do with Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and his vicious gang of thugs. All we're trying to do is put you into an affordable, pre-owned, certified Toyota.

0:59
Car Dealer (John McKeever)

People don't respect you.

1:00
Bob Isis (Shane Gillis)

To the youngsters, I know you're having fun. I used to have fun myself.

1:11
Car Dealer (Reggie Conquest)

Can I be in a commercial?

1:12
Bob Isis (Shane Gillis)

No.

1:13
Car Dealer (Reggie Conquest)

Come on, why not?

1:14
Bob Isis (Shane Gillis)

Why?

1:15
Car Dealer (Reggie Conquest)

It's because I'm black?

1:16
Bob Isis (Shane Gillis)

No, it's not because you're black. It's because your name is-

1:20
Car Dealer (Reggie Conquest)

Orenthal James Anderson. And at ISIS, we don't price gouge. But if we find a competitor with a lower price, we'll kill them.

1:26
Bob Isis (Shane Gillis)

Cut that. We're not doing this.

2:10
Bob Isis (Shane Gillis)

I'm... I'm under a lot of fucking stress.

2:12
Bob Isis (Shane Gillis)

I'll go fucking nuts! We are closed on 9/11.

2:15
Car Dealer (John McKeever)

If your dad was real ISIS, you'd be up in heaven right now covered in virgins, but instead you're a fat fucking virgin covered in used Toyotas.

2:25
Bob Isis (Shane Gillis)

Come down to ISIS Toyota or I'll fucking kill myself and everyone here.