Sketch Info
College buddies Zach and Trevor run into each other in the park; Zach has a liquid gallon of PCP.
Cast & Characters
Zach
Zach Cregger
· Cast
Trevor
Trevor Moore
· Cast
Quotes
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Man, what do you got there?
Zach (Zach Cregger)
Uh, this is a gallon of PCP.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Wow! A gallon!
Zach (Zach Cregger)
Yeah.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
That's that's illegal, right?
Zach (Zach Cregger)
Yeah, it's a felony.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
It's a felony!
Zach (Zach Cregger)
Yes
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Wow, and here you are with it anyway. That is... wow!
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
I uh... I didn't even know it came in liquid form science.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Whoa, so do you do a lot of PCP?
Zach (Zach Cregger)
Got a gallon
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
I guess I guess you do.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Wow, so what do you do?
Zach (Zach Cregger)
I work in an investment firm downtown. It's mostly like property acquisitions.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Huh. That sounds successful.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
What do you do?
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Um, I work at the Binko's.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
I don't know what Binko's is.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
It's an office supply store type thing.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
Secretary stuff?
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Yeah, but a gallon.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
Yeah.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Here you are with a gallon.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Do you still see Candace?
Zach (Zach Cregger)
No. She passed away.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know. How long ago did that happen?
Zach (Zach Cregger)
Uh, about four.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
About four years ago?
Zach (Zach Cregger)
No, p.m.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Four p.m. As in today, four p.m That, it's five o'clock now.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
Yeah.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
So that was recent. What happened?
Zach (Zach Cregger)
I was at my dealer's house.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Uh-huh.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
I was buying the PCP.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Of course.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
And I didn't have enough money for all of the gallon.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Oh, it's expensive.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
But I wanted the whole gallon.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Of course.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
So I'd set up a deal. where I would leave her as collateral, and then I would go hit an ATM and come right back.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
I see problems.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
But when I left, I got distracted, and he cut her head off.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Whoa! Wow. And that happened today, just a little while ago. Man. Are you OK? Are you doing all right?
Zach (Zach Cregger)
No, yeah, I'm good. I'm pretty high right now.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Right, because of the PCP, which you have.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Man, you know, I ran into Bill the other day and he's doing really good.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
I don't know Bill.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
You don't?
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
That's right. No, you wouldn't know Bill, but he's doing good.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
That's good.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Yeah, it's good to see. Good for Bill.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
Well, it was good to see you, Trevor.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
It was nice seeing you.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
I gotta pick my kids up. I gotta go. I'm running late.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Oh, you have kids! You are on your way to pick up children with your gallon thing.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
I don't want them to lose their heads.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Oh, you left them with the guy, the PCP guy.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
No, no, they're at soccer practice. I'm late. They spaz.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Oh, it was a joke. I get it. Well...
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
Nice seeing you.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
Good to see you.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
Okay.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
I'll tell Bill you said hi.
Zach (Zach Cregger)
I don't know him.
Trevor (Trevor Moore)
You don't. Oh, that's right. See you later.