theSketchDb

Sam in the Bag

7 1 rating

Sketch Info

Two sitcom characters (Trevor, Sam) try to cover their tracks after consuming pot. The history behind the sketch is revealed in a long documentary segment.

Quotes

0:00
Sam (Sam Brown)

I sure am glad we got all this pot to smoke.

0:02
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

Yeah, now we can get high.

0:04
Sam (Sam Brown)

Yeah, hope your mom doesn't come home.

0:06
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

Yeah, she would come home, that bitch.

0:08
Sam (Sam Brown)

Yeah, she is a bitch.

0:10
Sam (Sam Brown)

No, you did. Now let's get smoking some pot.

0:10
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

You said it.

0:13
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

All right, how many should we take?

0:15
Sam (Sam Brown)

I don't know, four?

0:16
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

No, I heard some kid died off four.

0:20
Sam (Sam Brown)

Then we better take three.

0:21
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

Three what?

0:22
Sam (Sam Brown)

Three pots.

0:30
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

I can't wait to tell the other kids at class that we got high on pot. I just heard a sound that sounded like my mom sounds when she comes home.

0:37
Sam (Sam Brown)

What would your mom do if she found us high on pot?

0:40
Trevor (Trevor Moore), Sam (Sam Brown)

Military school!

0:44
Mother (Zach Cregger)

Hey T, I'm back from the church store.

0:49
Sam (Sam Brown)

Hide me in this bag.

1:13
Sam (Sam Brown)

Look, I cut air holes.

1:15
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

You planned this?

1:24
Mother (Zach Cregger)

I smell smoke.

1:25
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

Uh, there's no smoke in here, Mom. That must just be your menopause.

1:29
Mother (Zach Cregger)

Yeah, you're probably right.

1:56
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

Mom, Dad's having an affair with his secretary at work.

1:59
Mother (Zach Cregger)

Whaaaat?

2:02
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

I saw them making out in the driveway one night.

2:04
Mother (Zach Cregger)

I can't believe it. How many years of marriage and for this?

2:09
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

Yeah, kind of makes this whole me smoking pot thing seem pretty inconsequential.

2:14
Mother (Zach Cregger)

Oh, I'm so angry.

2:16
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

I'm gonna go play outside without my pants on.

2:18
Mother (Zach Cregger)

Man oh man, you think you know somebody and they turn around and they get ya!

2:23
Father (Darren Trumeter)

Hi honey, I'm home from work!

2:25
Mother (Zach Cregger)

That's what you get, Mr. Man!

2:46
Father (Darren Trumeter)

I want a divorce and I don't even want to keep in contact with my kids or call them on their birthdays.

5:11
Mother (Zach Cregger)

Trevor during rehearsals was intense.

5:15
Mother (Zach Cregger)

I'm coming down the hallway.

5:19
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

Noooo!

5:49
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

Don't read it like a f***t.

5:51
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

I'm kind of jealous of people who have had happy lives. I want... to kill everybody's parents. And I think about it a lot, and I draw it a lot. And I'm okay with that.

6:09
Trevor (Trevor Moore)

I've um... I think this thing has taught me that I've kind of come to accept that. I'm okay with me, and I've accepted that... I'm gonna kill a lot of people.