Sketch Info
Billy (Zach) wants to play a bizarre pretend game, but Timmy would rather play Sega. Billy's dad (Trevor) makes him disappear by repeating "I don't believe in you".
Cast & Characters
Quotes
Billy (Zach Cregger)
Well, Mama, it sure feels good to leave the oil fields of Nebraska in the dust. All we got ahead of us now is the open road, the cool breeze in our faces, and the sweet sounds of the corn husks as they move silently past. Isn't that right, Mama?
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
That's right, Daddy.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
Yeah, Mama. Now, I don't know what we're going to find when we get to San Francisco. I might have to stab, steal, and cheat my way to the top. Hell! Maybe I'll even get myself a straight job. Wouldn't that be crazy, Mama? You and I working like a couple of regular Joes. Wouldn't that just be nuts, Mama?
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
Sounds nuts, Daddy.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
Yeah, Mama. Maybe we get ourselves a little bungalow down on the beach. We drink out of coconuts all day-
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
Okay, I don't want to play this anymore. This is so boring.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
No, Timmy, we have to play Motorcycle Mamas.
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
But I want to play Sega.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
No, Timmy, we haven't even got out of Nebraska yet. The best part is coming up. Hold on.
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
Fine.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
Then we... we drink out of coconuts all day and at night we get drunk off a beam and make love under the stars. Hell, maybe even the band will get back together again. Wouldn't that be crazy, mama?
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
Sounds crazy, daddy.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
Yeah, mama. Let's hope the next town we spill into has got a pool hall with a jukebox. that's worth a damn. I got my grifting shoes on. How about you, mama?
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
They're right here, daddy.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
Yeah, mama. Maybe we find ourselves a couple of marks and grift enough off cash to get clear out to Californ-I-A.
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
Oh look, a bear!
Billy (Zach Cregger)
Or what, mama?
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
There's an army of... There's bears over there. Let's fight them with guns.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
What you talkin' about, mama? You know my blood pressure can't handle what it used to-
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
Okay, this is stupid. You won't even let me do anything.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
An army of bears? Timmy, that's stupid.
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
I want to play Sega. I'm bored.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
We will never play Sega again unless we finish motorcycle mama. I'm serious. I am serious. I am serious.
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
Fine.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
Shut up. Head on wheels, heaven on earth. That's us, right mama?
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
That's right, daddy.
Father (Trevor Moore)
Billy, you left your bike in the driveway. Oh, my God... Billy, are you playing Motorcycle Ladies again?
Billy (Zach Cregger)
It's Motorcycle Mamas, Dad.
Father (Trevor Moore)
Timmy, go play video games.
Timmy (Timmy Williams)
Yeah.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
Are you mad, Dad?
Father (Trevor Moore)
I told you what would happen if you did this again.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
No, Dad, please.
Father (Trevor Moore)
I don't believe in you.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
No, Dad.
Father (Trevor Moore)
I don't believe in you.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
No, Dad, I love you.
Father (Trevor Moore)
I don't believe in you.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
No, Dad, look at me.
Father (Trevor Moore)
I don't believe in you.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
No!
Father (Trevor Moore)
I don't believe in you. I don't believe in you.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
Dad, no!
Father (Trevor Moore)
I don't believe in you.
Father (Trevor Moore)
I don't believe in you. I don't believe in you. I don't believe in you.
Billy (Zach Cregger)
Noooooo!