help

Ooh, I could use somebody to talk to right about now.

What's the problem?

Nothing, dude. Come on, man. It's no problem. You know me, man. Captain of Chillin', dude. You know I'm feeling good.

I need a friend. I need a friend. Ow! Oh, no.

What's the problem? What are you so sad about?

Oh no! It's like, dude, it's me and Michelle, man. It's that whole thing, man.

Michelle?

Yeah, Michelle, man.

You broke up with Michelle three years ago. You don't like her.

Was that long ago?

What?

Was it that long ago?

Yeah, it was that long ago.

I guess I actually don't care about that.

Yeah, you don't.

No, that doesn't bother me. That doesn't bother me at all, man.

You go ahead and get some lunch, man. You go ahead and get your grub on.

Alright man.

You go ahead and start snacking on them, baby.

I noticed.

It's like, oh, dude. I don't know how I'm going to pay rent this month. I ain't got no money. Dude, I got bills up the yin yang, man.

Dude, my dad's practically disown me. Okay? I don't have a relationship with my dad, and he won't answer the calls when I call him, man.

It's like, on top of that, I didn't get an invite to Emily's going away thing. Am I, like, not... Cool no more to them? Am I not popular no more to them? Did I change or something? I don't think so. I think I've been the same, same chill guy that I've always been.

I know, man. I can't do it. I'm, like, gotten goosebumps, man. I've gotten goosebumps here, dude. Whoo!

Do you want me to buy you lunch, man? You want to come grab lunch with me? We'll talk about it.

You think? You'll buy me lunch if we go out.

I'll buy you lunch, man.

You'll pay for it?

Yeah, I'll pay for it.

Yeah, let's do that. Oh dude! You buyin' me a lunch! Cuz we gettin' down, cuz we gettin' down, you buyin' me lunch. If you knew, that we knew what we'd do. Bang-a-chang. You know, bing-bang-bang-a-chang, baby, cuz it's lunch, and it's lunch. And are you gonna drive? Are you gonna drive down the street? For us to meet and us to eat cause it's lunch-a-bunch and it's crunch, and it's lunch and lunch and it's crunch.

Dude! Yeah, I'm getting lunch! And you know! And you know! Excuse me! I think it's time! Time for us to have lunch? Yes! Time for us to eat together! I think I'm gonna like it here with you. You gonna drive?

Kyle, you're a shitty friend, man.

Fuck you. [Hucks loogie] Bitch. You're driving me to lunch!

Shit.

Ain't feel so bad no mo.