theSketchDb

Weird

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Sketch Info

At a gentleman's club, Trevor, Zach and Timmy learn what a stripper (Darren) will do for money.

Quotes

1:23
Trevor Moore

Uh, what'll I get if I throw two dollars down there?

1:28
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Well, for two dollars, I turn around and I bend over and I point my butt at you.

1:35
Trevor Moore

Chill, chill.

1:37
Trevor Moore

Uh, what would happen if I threw down five dollars?

1:41
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Well, for five dollars, I point my butt at you, and then I slap my own butt with my hand.

1:50
Trevor Moore

What, pray tell, would happen if I threw ten dollars down there?

1:54
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Well, for ten dollars, I play with my boobs, and then I lick my boobs, and then I spit on my coo.

2:07
Trevor Moore

Uh, what would happen if I were to throw a twenty dollar bill down there?

2:12
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Well, for $20, I like to sit on your lap and I jiggle up and down and I try and rub my butt on your penis sometimes.

2:26
Trevor Moore

If I took a $100 bill and dropped it down there, what would happen then?

2:32
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Well, for $100? I'll take you in that bathroom over there. I'd slip into some super sexy lingerie.

2:41
Trevor Moore

Go on.

2:42
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

And then I'd staple my hands together.

2:46
Trevor Moore

What?

2:47
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

With a staple gun.

2:48
Trevor Moore

Wait, why would you do that?

2:50
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Because you gave me $100.

2:52
Trevor Moore

Well, I wouldn't really want you to do that, so let's take it down a notch. What if I were to give you $75?

3:03
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Oh, for $75, I eat a whole fish.

3:07
Trevor Moore

What?

3:08
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Bones, scales, eyes, the whole thing.

3:14
Trevor Moore

That's weird.

3:16
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

That's my name.

3:17
Trevor Moore

What's your name?

3:18
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Weird.

3:19
Trevor Moore

Your stripper name is Weird?

3:20
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Weirdest stripper!

3:24
Trevor Moore

OK, what will you do for $7?

3:26
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

For $7, I drink a whole pail of milk with my butt.

3:37
Trevor Moore

What'll you do for 75 cents?

3:39
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

For 75 cents, I'll eat it.

3:42
Trevor Moore

You'll eat what?

3:43
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Eat the money.

3:52
Trevor Moore

What about $304?

3:54
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

For $304, I'll write you a speech.

3:56
Zach Cregger

About what?

3:58
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Any topic you choose.

3:59
Timmy Williams

$4.36?

4:00
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

I'll go to the store with you.

4:03
Zach Cregger

What? $4.37.

4:05
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

I'll paint you a picture of a dolphin.

4:08
Zach Cregger

$4.38.

4:09
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

I'll give you a blowjob!

4:10
Trevor Moore

Well, that's where that one was.

4:11
Timmy Williams

$1 million.

4:13
Weird (Darren Trumeter)

Hamburgers!