theSketchDb

Self Defense

derrickcomedy

8 1 rating

Sketch Info

Quotes

0:26
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

Real-life situation number one: you're walking down an alleyway after work. you encounter a mugger, okay? He wants crack. So he's gonna put his arm on my shoulder in a typical mugger stance, okay?

0:37
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

Now the first thing you wanna do, step one, get wrist control. So I grab his wrist, I peel it back, okay? Now I have wrist control, I can kind of, do you feel that? I'm kind of controlling where his body goes, okay?

0:47
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

Step number two, pull out your gun. It's very important that you pull out your gun.

1:01
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

No crack for you today, my friend.

1:07
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

You're at a friend's house. He's having a barbecue. He's mugging you. All right? He wants your money to buy crack.

1:14
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

So what's the first thing you're going to do? Wrist control. All right? You got the wrist. Now, do you feel that? Do you feel I'm kind of controlling your movements a little bit? Because that's when I pull out my gun.

1:31
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

Real life situation number three: your muggers asleep in his own bed, and he's mugging you.

1:37
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

So what's the first thing you're gonna want to do? Climb in through the window, because he's probably locked his doors.

1:55
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

The only crack he'll be having tonight is in his dreams.

2:00
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

Real life situation number four, the most common one of them all: Your mugger's in the trunk of your car. Her hands are bound. She's mugging you.

2:08
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

She's mugging you with her bound hands because she wants crack.

2:12
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

So what's the first thing you're going to do? Wrist control. Get a little wrist control. And she can probably feel that. I'm moving her around. And then- complete control.

2:24
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

And then once you have control of her like that, you can just take her wherever you want to go in the trunk of your car.

2:31
Brett Kaywood (Dominic Dierkes)

Sounds like some, uh, sounds like some muggers are coming in police cars. Get out of here, man! This gun's hot!