Homeschool

Mom, I'm gonna get some Captain Crunch.

Uh, excuse me, Caleb. No, you're not. There's no eating in the classroom.

This is the kitchen.

Well, during school hours, we're calling this the classroom, and I would appreciate it if you did not call me Mom, but instead refer to me as Mrs. Carlisle.

Mrs. Carlisle?

Thank you, Caleb, yes.

You're not a real teacher.

During school hours, I am your homeschool teacher.

Okay, Mom, I hope I do really, really good at homeschool so that way I can get into a home college and then I can get a home job and make tons of home money.

Caleb, I dropped out of school so I could raise you!

Okay, so I'm supposed to learn geometry from a lady who never graduated college and wasn't smart enough to use condoms.

That is detention!

Sweet, where is that? Like, my room?

Ye- No, that i- That is in the laundry room!

Okay, going to the laundry room.

Yep. Where do I gotta go now? Is the principal's office in my room? Cause I'm really just trying to make it back up there.

You are on strike two, young man! One more and you get suspended!

If I get suspended, does that mean I go back to real school?

Caleb Jesse Carlisle!

What? You're pretending! I'm pretending! We're pretending together!

That is... That's it! You go down to the garage!

Oh, no! The garage? Is that, like, super detention?

Yes, that's like super detention. It's the super detention hall.

The super detention hall? Is that the one with the pool table?

Yes! No! You don't go to the garage! You go outside to the backyard.

That's where the real pool is. I'll go get my swim trunks.

No! Caleb! You! You go... to your room.

There we go. Good first day, mom.

It's Mrs. Carlisle...