Dad Story

You see, the beautiful woman had this asshole boyfriend who everyone thought was cool because he was a dick. So what would happen was whenever your daddy was trying to hang out with the beautiful maiden, he would end up going home with the loud alky.

And you see, when someone's locked in to a serious substance abuse problem, they let the little things in their life fall by the wayside, like remembering to take their pills, and that's when you came along.

Because when you showed up, your daddy had to sell his muscle car to make an honest woman out of that skank.

And the reality is, selling all the muscle cars in the world wouldn't make that strumpet an honest woman.

Some people are just bad. They're just born bad.

We leave this world together. Do you understand me? We leave this world together.

Oh. That's cool.

I'm just kidding. I meant a sack of pee!