theSketchDb

Rip Your Dick Off

8.5 2 ratings

Info

At the Homeware store, an employee (Zach) advises a customer (Sam) against using a particularly strong vacuum for oral sex simulation, despite the customer's insistence that he only intends to clean his apartment.

Quotes

0:24
Zach Cregger

You're gonna rip your dick off.

0:25
Sam Brown

Wha-what?

0:27
Zach Cregger

If you stick your dick in this vacuum cleaner and turn it on, you're gonna rip your dick off.

0:31
Sam Brown

Why would I do that?

0:33
Zach Cregger

I don't know, sir, because it's not gonna feel like a blowjob.

0:36
Sam Brown

How would you know? I mean, I'm not going to.

0:40
Zach Cregger

Good. Because if you did, you would rip your dick off.

0:46
Sam Brown

So, are there like multiple power settings on this?

0:50
Zach Cregger

Yeah, yeah. There's high and there's low and both of those will rip your dick off.

0:56
Sam Brown

That's such a... Weird way to describe the power settings on a vacuum. I mean... is there like another vacuum?

1:05
Zach Cregger

That won't rip your dick off?

1:06
Sam Brown

I'm just trying to clean my apartment, man.

1:09
Zach Cregger

This one, right here. This is a vacuum cleaner that sucks dicks really well.

1:14
Sam Brown

I don't know what your deal is, man, but I just have a messy apartment, and you're being a real weirdo.

1:28
Cashier

Oh hell no!

1:30
Sam Brown

I need this. My apartment's dirty.

1:32
Cashier

Mm-hmm.

1:36
Sam Brown

$1,400?

1:37
Cashier

Watch, this motherfucka's still gonna buy it.

1:39
Sam Brown

This is ridiculous.

1:43
Cashier

Nasty ass vacuum fuckas, here.