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Bike Up the Ass

8.5 2 ratings

Info

A road accident between a businessman (Sam) and a cyclist (Zach) results in road rage, which is taken all the way to the hospital, then to court. It doesn't help that nobody understands anything unrelated to their own fields and professions.

Quotes

0:04
Biker (Zach Cregger)

Can I get a doctor here, please? Hello? People, I need a doctor now!

0:10
Doctor (Trevor Moore)

Well, I'm a doctor, what seems to be the problem? Holy moly! What happened here?

0:17
Sam Brown

This guy rode his bike up my ass!

0:19
Biker (Zach Cregger)

Well, this guy walked right out in front of me!

0:22
Sam Brown

Into a crosswalk!

0:23
Biker (Zach Cregger)

A crosswalk that is in the middle of a 50k!

0:26
Sam Brown

A crosswalk is a crosswalk, and I don't know what a 50k is! I'm a businessman! A businessman who's late to his quarterly shareholders meeting!

0:34
Biker (Zach Cregger)

Well, I don't know what a quarterly shareholders meeting is, because I'm a bicycle guy! A bicycle guy that's losing the 50k!

0:42
Sam Brown

Do you mean a 401k? Because I know what that is! A 50k sounds like crazy talk!

0:50
Doctor (Trevor Moore)

Guys, guys, guys! I am a doctor! I don't understand what either of you two are talking about! Now did any of you come in here to buy tongue depressors?

1:00
Biker (Zach Cregger)

I'm a bicycle guy! I don't know what a tongue depressor is!

1:04
Darren Trumeter

Hey, where's the front wheel and the handlebars?

1:06
Biker (Zach Cregger), (Sam Brown)

Oh, it's in there.

1:08
Darren Trumeter

Jeez, everybody's so testy today. All right, I'll take 20 tongue depressors. They seem great.

1:14
Doctor (Trevor Moore)

Cha-ching!

1:19
Police Officer

What the fuck is a bicycle?

1:24
Doctor (Trevor Moore)

Okay, if none of you guys are in here to buy tongue depressors, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask everyone to get out of the doctor building.

1:31
Police Officer

Okay, that's enough of that. I don't know anything about bicycles. Or tongue depressors. I'm a police guy. And yous twos? You're under arrest.

1:54
Biker (Zach Cregger)

This is so unfair, your honor. There's not one single bicycle guy on this jury.

1:58
Judge (Trevor Moore)

Okay, I've had enough. You go to jail, you don't. Case closed. Now, who wants to buy some evidence?