Info
A slew of stupid, made-up strip club names, which continues over the credits.
Cast & Characters
Quotes
Darren Trumeter
Hey guys, it's a weeknight. You know what that means?
Strip club!
Timmy Williams
Yeah, where we going?
Trevor Moore
Uh, Blaze?
Darren Trumeter
Oh, that place burned down.
Sam Brown
Girls, girls, girls?
Darren Trumeter
Nah, that place got busted.
Sam Brown
Why?
Darren Trumeter
Too many girls.
Timmy Williams
We could go to Barely Illegal.
Trevor Moore
Nah, everyone there got arrested too.
Timmy Williams
Really?
Trevor Moore
Yeah, just barely.
Sam Brown
Titopotamus!
Darren Trumeter
Hey, how about we go to Asshole's Cabbage Patch?
Trevor Moore
What about Hurting and Squirting?
Darren Trumeter
That place is... I don't like that place.
Trevor Moore
Oh, come on, you just gotta wear a slicker there. It's like a Gallagher show.
Sam Brown
What about Daddy's fucked-up secret?
Timmy Williams
What about Behind the Beef Curtains?
Sam Brown
Do you guys think I dreamed Titopotamus?
Trevor Moore
Did the dancers all have pink tutus?
Sam Brown
Yeah!
Trevor Moore
Yeah, that's that movie Fantasia.
Darren Trumeter
Guys, Stains, Stains, Stains.
Sam Brown
Let's go to Vaginal Tears.
Darren Trumeter
Why can't four fun-loving guys decide on a strip club to go to?
Timmy Williams
I got it! S T double D's!
Trevor Moore
They're having two-for-one drink specials at the Farting Whore.
Timmy Williams
Or we could go to Minor Indiscretions.
Darren Trumeter
You're a pervert, dude.
Trevor Moore
Hey, we could go to, uh, Areola 51.
Bouncer
Welcome to Areola 51, gentlemen. Unfortunately, all our dancers got abducted.
Trevor Moore
That's funny.
Bouncer
Oh, why is that funny? Some Mexican drug lords threw all our strippers in a van and took off.
Darren Trumeter
We could go to Stephen King's Tit.
Sam Brown
You know, it's so late that the only clubs that'll be open are the gay ones.
Darren Trumeter
Well, which one should we go to?
Trevor Moore
Well, we could go to Watching Taint Dry.
Darren Trumeter
We could go to 20th Century Cocks.
Sam Brown
Hey, how about the Schlong and Winding Road?
Trevor Moore
Hey, what about Dick Nolte's?
Bouncer
Well, that place isn't there anymore. Now it's the Riddle of the Sphincter.
Darren Trumeter
We can go to Stop Cock and Roll.
Sam Brown
What about Bad Attidudes?
Bouncer
What about Norman Cockwell's family dinner?
Darren Trumeter
How about we go to wiggling Willie's wiener floss?
Timmy Williams
Hey guys, I decided to come back. What do you guys think about Through the Looking Ass?
Trevor Moore
We could go to Queer One Imports.
Jim Biederman
Hi there. My name is Jim, and I'm one of the executive producers of the show. I'd like to apologize for letting this sketch go on as long as it has. It really has no point. There's no arc.
Jim Biederman
It's just bumbling idiots coming up with stupid strip club names like Condoleezza Rice or the Hard-On-Boys.
Jim Biederman
Stupid names like Nancy Screw, Some Like It Twat, First Man to Walk on the Poon, Mermaid Zelda's Butt Shrimp, Inner City Crack, Cum Dungeon, Captain Blowhard's Tithole, Euretha Franklin, Scores, The Spinning Penis.
Jim Biederman
In space, no one can hear you cream.
Jim Biederman
The breast barn.
Jim Biederman
Scrooge Mcfucks honey bin.
Jim Biederman
Wieners with a Z at the end.
Jim Biederman
Harry on the Hendersons.
Jim Biederman
Mao Zedong's sweatshop.
Jim Biederman
Up your butt and around the corner.
Jim Biederman
The Staten Island Ferry.