theSketchDb

Pussy Salad

8 2 ratings

Info

At a restaurant, two crude men named Phil and Colin (Darren and Sam) loudly state that Phil's salad tastes like pussy. It turns out to be a scheme set up by their coworker Harold (Trevor) - who is sitting at a nearby table - to expose his young son (Timmy) for eating pussy.

Quotes

0:02
Darren Trumeter

I'm telling you, man, this salad tastes like pussy.

0:05
Sam Brown

What are you talking about?

0:07
Darren Trumeter

I'm talking about pussy. This salad tastes exactly like pussy.

0:11
Sam Brown

Well, I don't know what pussy you've been eating, but the pussy I eat don't taste like no salad.

0:16
Darren Trumeter

Man, I ain't saying pussy tastes like salad. All I'm saying is that this salad that I order tastes like a big fucking pussy.

0:46
Sam Brown

Well, I'll be a shit-covered dick. This salad right here tastes exactly like a big fucking pussy.

0:56
Father (Trevor Moore)

Um, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I'm having dinner here with my wife and my very very young child.

1:06
Darren Trumeter

Well, I'm sorry, sir, and I don't mean to offend you and your family, but the thing is that we ordered this salad here, and it tastes exactly like a big sloppy wuss.

1:37
Father (Trevor Moore)

Holy mackerel, this does taste like pussy.

1:39
Mother (Zach Cregger)

Harold!

1:40
Father (Trevor Moore)

I'm serious, Meredith. This tastes exactly like a big sloppy pussy.

2:05
Father (Trevor Moore)

Now, the feta tastes like feta, so it's got to be the spinach, because the whole thing tastes like pussy and cheese.

2:10
Kid (Timmy Williams)

Can I try a bite?

2:11
Mother (Zach Cregger)

Yeah, dig in.

2:12
Darren Trumeter

Where in the hell is this waiter guy?

2:13
Sam Brown

Waiter!

2:15
Kid (Timmy Williams)

This salad doesn't taste like pussy.

2:17
Father (Trevor Moore)

I knew it. You are grounded, young man.

2:20
Kid (Timmy Williams)

What?

2:21
Father (Trevor Moore)

I knew you'd been eating pussy, and now I guess all of us do.

2:53
Sam Brown

So, Harold, you gonna help me out with that thing with my kid tomorrow night?

2:57
Father (Trevor Moore)

Yeah, what was that again?

3:01
Sam Brown

You know, my kid, he splits his time up between living with me and my ex-wife, and I thought, you know, get some of the guys together, we go over to her house, dress up like ghosts, and then I throw rocks at his windows. Then he thinks it's haunted and doesn't want to stay there no more.

3:18
Father (Trevor Moore)

Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.