theSketchDb

ButterBar

8.5 2 ratings

Info

A fast food chain is forced by their corporate office to sell a new product called "ButterBar", which is essentially a stick of butter. Things go from bad to worse when a young boy buys and eats two ButterBars from the two employees at the counter (Trevor and Sam), and gets sick, resulting in them both getting a scolding from a fellow employee.

Quotes

0:16
Trevor Moore

Um... Hey, Dave, you wanna come here for a second?

0:20
Sam Brown

Yeah.

0:24
Trevor Moore

Are we really selling these?

0:26
Sam Brown

Yeah. It's the new product.

0:28
Trevor Moore

Yeah, I know. It's just that... this is just a stick of butter.

0:35
Sam Brown

Yeah. It's a butter bar.

0:36
Trevor Moore

No, I know. I saw the commercial last night. I just... I thought there was... there's gonna be more to it than this.

0:42
Sam Brown

It's not just a stick of butter. It comes with the easy-to-grip butter sleeve for when you want the butter bar on the go.

0:48
Trevor Moore

No, I know. I saw the commercial. I just... I don't know. I feel like there's something morally wrong about selling butter to people to eat.

0:57
Sam Brown

Don't you think you're being a little overdramatic?

1:00
Trevor Moore

No. I really don't.

1:02
Sam Brown

People buy butter all the time.

1:04
Trevor Moore

Yeah, not to just eat by itself.

1:06
Sam Brown

It's not our job to police people's diets. People do what they want to do.

1:11
Trevor Moore

I guess.

1:12
Kid

Excuse me, can I have a butter bar please?

1:15
Trevor Moore

What?

1:16
Kid

Can I have a butter bar?

1:18
Trevor Moore

Kid, are you sure you want a butter bar?

1:35
Trevor Moore

Is that good?

1:38
Kid

It's okay.

1:40
Trevor Moore

Look man, I don't think we should be selling these things.

1:43
Sam Brown

It's not my call, we're a franchise.

1:46
Trevor Moore

Can't we just say that they're not selling well? That people don't want to eat butter bars because of how unhealthy they are?

1:51
Kid

Is this enough for one more butter bar?

1:53
Trevor Moore

You want another butter bar?

1:58
Trevor Moore

Um. Ah. No. Geez, kid, sorry. You're about 20 cents short.

2:35
Kid

Oh.

2:36
(Sam Brown), (Trevor Moore)

Oooh

2:37
Kid

My heart.

2:38
Trevor Moore

Oh my god. I think he's having a little heart attack.

2:41
Kid

I need to lie down. Oh. It feels like an elephant is standing on my chest.

2:49
Trevor Moore

Should we call somebody?

2:50
Sam Brown

Should we get him off the premises?

2:51
Kid

Oh, god. I could feel my heart pounding in my little ears. I smell burnt toast.

3:01
Manager

Something's wrong with that drive-thru. Oh, hell no! What happened to him?!

3:07
Trevor Moore

He ate two of the butter bars.

3:08
Kid

You feeding this kid, butter?

3:09
Sam Brown

Well, corporate said that-

3:11
Manager

Oh, no, no, no, no. Y'all need to be ashamed of yourself.

3:14
Trevor Moore

Sorry.

3:15
Manager

Go out there and fix that damn drive-thru. And this kid's some water and an aspirin.

3:20
Manager

Got to do every fucking thing myself. Next in line!