theSketchDb

First Date

8 2 ratings

Info

A woman (Darren) is on a first date at a restaurant when her date (Zach) considers ordering dog poop.

Quotes

0:29
Waiter (Timmy Williams)

Tonight we have a potato scallion soup. We also have a freshly grilled sea bass, a plate of steaming dog poop, and a prosciutto fig wrap.

0:39
Darren Trumeter

Please don't get the dog poop. Please don't get the dog poop. Please don't get the dog poop.

0:42
Zach Cregger

What was the second to last one?

0:43
Zach Cregger

Ah, the dog poop.

0:44
Zach Cregger

Oh, I'm sorry, the last one.

0:46
Waiter (Timmy Williams)

Oh, the prosciutto fig wrap.

0:48
Zach Cregger

Ooh, that sounds good.

0:50
Darren Trumeter

Oh, thank God.

0:51
Zach Cregger

But I did have prosciutto fig wraps for lunch.

0:56
Zach Cregger

Does the dog poop come with a side?

0:58
Darren Trumeter

Please don't let it come with a side. Please don't let it come with a side.

1:00
Waiter (Timmy Williams)

The dog poop does not come with a side.

1:02
Darren Trumeter

Oh, thank God.

1:03
Waiter (Timmy Williams)

But for you, monsieur, I can make an exception.

1:08
Zach Cregger

What kind of dog made the poop?

1:10
Waiter (Timmy Williams)

Oh, a very fat dog.

1:12
Zach Cregger

But what kind of dog?

1:13
Waiter (Timmy Williams)

Oh, one of those big, floppy bulldogs.

1:15
Zach Cregger

Oh.

1:16
Waiter (Timmy Williams)

Yes, he can't even get up the stairs. This dog is very fat and very stinky.

1:20
Zach Cregger

Oh, okay. That sounds pretty good.

1:22
Darren Trumeter

Please no, please no, please no, please no.

1:25
Zach Cregger

But I think I'm gonna go with a fig wrap.

1:30
Trevor Moore

Not interested. Listen to me. You have got to try the dog poop at this place.

1:38
Zach Cregger

Really? Because I was thinking about going with the figs.

1:41
Trevor Moore

Listen, I have had my share of dog poop pass between these lips and this place. Honest to God, hands down, the best dog poop in the business. I mean, the dog must be diseased or something. Did he tell you about how fat it was?

2:00
Zach Cregger

All the same, I think I'm gonna go with the fig wrap.

2:02
Darren Trumeter

Yes!

2:03
Zach Cregger

Sike, dog poop!

2:19
Darren Trumeter

Does that taste bad?

2:20
Zach Cregger

Uh-huh... psych! It's dog poop! It's great!