Sketch Info
Cast & Characters
Quotes
Donald (Donald Glover)
Don't jerk off to this.
Thomas (Dominic Dierkes)
Who would jerk off to a picture of a bowl of fruit?
Alex (DC Pierson)
Oh, cool, they have a Brita pitcher.
Donald (Donald Glover)
Hey, what if the Brita picture had a note on it that said, don't jerk off to this?
Thomas (Dominic Dierkes)
That'd be crazy.
Donald (Donald Glover)
Yeah, who would want to jerk off to that?
Thomas (Dominic Dierkes)
Yeah, it doesn't even have like a sexy orange in it... well, good night.
Donald (Donald Glover)
You see, I knew you weren't strong enough. Not strong enough to resist jerking off to an innocuous picture of some fruit.
Donald (Donald Glover)
Now, go over there. Bring the picture to me so I can jerk off to it.
Alex (DC Pierson)
A few more strokes and there'll be no going back. Put the picture down!
Man in White (Dan Eckman)
Well, ain't this just the cat sauces? Why, you could show a photograph of any bowl of fruit to most folks. They never think to jerk off to it. You boys got a lot to learn.