Info
A spokesman for the Pentagon (Zach) updates the nation on the state of the zombie apocalypse: it has been discovered that zombies will eventually turn back into humans. Despite this fact, those that mistakenly killed zombies before they turned back will not be tried for murder.
Cast & Characters
Quotes
Zach Cregger
I'm also aware that many of you might be holed up in grocery stores and bomb shelters log cabins and abandoned shopping malls and will not have access to outside information and thus will not be aware of the impending reversal of the zombie condition.
Zach Cregger
It seems hardly fair to hold these people responsible for whatever defensive actions they might take, so the United States government will not be prosecuting any acts of violence for the next two weeks.
Zach Cregger
Now, I don't want any of you hootenannies getting any ideas and heading down to the local skate park to take out those punk kids who are always calling you an old military queer.
Zach Cregger
And I'm, uh, again, sorry about the whole friends and loved ones thing.
Zach Cregger
This plan is working perfect! Two more weeks of this and our overpopulation problem's gonna be gone!
Trevor Moore
Then we can stop putting all that fluoride in the water.
Darren Trumeter
Yeah, and stop spraying all that cancer from the airplanes.
Zach Cregger
Hey, do you guys want to go down to the skate park to look at the boys?