Info
Carla (Timmy) comes out as a lesbian to her parents, who believe it's just a phase. Her twin brother Timmy (Darren) comes out as gay, and they threaten to disown him.
Cast & Characters
Quotes
Carla (Timmy Williams)
Mom? Dad? I'm a lesbian.
Carla (Timmy Williams)
I know this is some pretty heavy stuff I'm dropping on you guys.
Father (Zach Cregger)
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty heavy. Uh, babe, do we have any more of those Diet Cokes?
Mother (Sam Brown)
I'll check.
Carla (Timmy Williams)
Mom, Dad, hello? I'm gay. This is huge.
Father (Zach Cregger)
Yeah, yeah, it's huge. You're a... You're a lesbian. You're a college lesbian.
Father (Zach Cregger)
You're a lesbian. What? It's not like you got a tattoo or something.
Timmy (Darren Trumeter)
Well, Mom, Dad, there's something I wanted to talk to you about. I think I might be gay.
Father (Zach Cregger)
What the fuck?!
Mother (Sam Brown)
That is such a huge decision!
Father (Zach Cregger)
Have you ever sucked a dick?! You look at me in the eyes and you tell me, have you ever sucked a dick?
Timmy (Darren Trumeter)
I had a homosexual experience and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
Father (Zach Cregger)
I gotta go! I gotta go to the bar!
Mother (Sam Brown)
Was it our fault? Was it something we did?
Father (Zach Cregger)
We failed! We failed!
Father (Zach Cregger)
I'm so sorry I forgot our little lesbian daughter. Come on, let's give her attention. Very good. You're gay.
Timmy (Darren Trumeter)
I'm not really gay. I just wanted to soften the blow for what I'm gonna say next.
Timmy (Darren Trumeter)
I flunked out of school.
Father (Zach Cregger)
What?
Timmy (Darren Trumeter)
I got all Fs and they said that I can't come back next year.
Mother (Sam Brown)
So? So you're not gay?
Timmy (Darren Trumeter)
No! I'm straight as a horse.
Carla (Timmy Williams)
Maybe I'll just start doing heroin, then you'll pay attention to me.
Father (Zach Cregger)
Okay, call me when you're doing meth and then we'll talk.