Sketch Info
Enthusiastic mail worker Scott (Trevor) tries to quickly pitch movie ideas to the studio heads (Zach, Sam, Darren), and soon gets them all psyched.
Cast & Characters
Pitching Guy
Trevor Moore
· Cast
Movie Exec
Zach Cregger
· Cast
Movie Exec
Darren Trumeter
· Cast
Movie Exec
Sam Brown
· Cast
Quotes
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
I want to pitch some movies to you guys real quick. I have some great movies I want to pitch to you guys. You guys are the heads of the studio, so that's good.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
I want to do this movie where this guy, he breaks into the White House, and he's going around, and he's stealing everything. He has a big bag, and he's taking everything off the desk and putting it in the bag. And he goes in the Oval Office, and he's taking ashtrays and lamps, and he's putting it in the bag and everything.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
Then all of a sudden, the Secret Service person, and they're like, freeze. Get down on the ground. You're under arrest for stealing from the President of the United States of America.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
And the guy just pulls off his mask, and he's like, I am the President of the United States of America, and they're like, oh, snap, and he's like, you're fired.
Movie Exec (Zach Cregger)
You're in a lot of trouble now, Scott.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
I have another movie I want to do with these guys. They have to go back in time to fight the dinosaurs, because that's the only way they can get the antidote. So they go back in time to fight the dinosaurs, and they shoot the dinosaurs, but the dinosaurs are bigger than they thought they were.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
So the dinosaurs are like, bing, bing, so what? And they're like, oh, no. So they go to the main scientist guy, and the scientist guy's like, I think I know how to kill him. They're like, great. So they get the biggest, meanest dinosaur, the boss dinosaur.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
They get him on the edge of a cliff, and they're like, OK, dinosaur, we know how to kill you now. Then all of a sudden, the dinosaur just steps off the cliff, and he starts floating. And they're like, oh, snap. And he's like, yeah, all dinosaurs Sam, call security.
Movie Exec (Zach Cregger)
Sam, call security.
Movie Exec (Darren Trumeter)
So what you're saying, Scott, is that the dinosaurs are actually aliens.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
Yeah, but you don't find that till the very, very end of the movie. Then this other movie I want to do, where these guys are in a compound, this other guy comes in, he kicks open the door, like, and they're like, what's going on? What's going on?
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
He's like, I got good news, and I got bad news. They're like, what's the good news? He's like, the good news is, I checked it out. There's a whole lot of them out there, and they're bigger than us, and they have better guns than us, but I think I found a secret tunnel.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
So if we go right now, we can get away. And they're like, that's great. What's the bad news? And he's like, "chic chic", I'm the bad news. And they're like, oh, snap.
Movie Exec (Zach Cregger)
That sounds like a Vin Diesel vehicle.
Movie Exec (Zach Cregger)
Sam, get V.D. on the phone. Scott, more, go.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
Okay, I have another movie where it's about the biggest dam in the world, and it's about to break and destroy all of New York and Los Angeles, and they're like, everybody... Scott, Scott.
Movie Exec (Zach Cregger)
Why is the dam gonna break?
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
Because a satellite went crazy in space and it shot a hole in the ozone layer. So like, okay, everybody get out of town, evacuate the planet. So everybody's in their cars and it's gridlock traffic.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
Then at the worst possible moment, the dam goes, and this big wall of water comes down the street, knocks over the Empire State Building, knocks over the Eiffel Tower, and the wall of water is coming down the street.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
The camera zooms in on the back of a taxi cab and Mel Gibson turns around and he goes, not again. And it goes, boom, boom, Mel Gibson, boom, boom, the Dam, boom, boom, summer.
Movie Exec (Darren Trumeter)
Whoa!
Movie Exec (Zach Cregger), Movie Exec (Sam Brown)
Yes!
Movie Exec (Zach Cregger)
That's a great idea!
Movie Exec (Darren Trumeter)
Yes, get Mel Gibson back into action!
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
Okay, I have another movie I want to do about all these cool black people that hang out in a driveway, and this car comes up, and they're like, who's that? And the windows come down, and green smoke comes out, and then Method Man and Red Man get out of the car, and they're like, oh, and then Queen Latifah comes up.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
She does that funny neck bob thing she does that's really funny. Then all of a sudden, this big white fuzzy limo pulls up, and they're like, who's that? Then the door opens, and Cedric the Entertainer comes out, and he has a really funny hat on, and it's called the Driveway.
Movie Exec, Movie Exec, Movie Exec
Yes! The Driveway! The driveway!
Movie Exec (Zach Cregger)
Of course it's called the Driveway! That's going to get that demographic. Darren, what's that demographic?
Movie Exec (Darren Trumeter)
Black people.
Movie Exec (Zach Cregger)
They're going to love that idea. Scott, you have saved the studio, and I thank you.
Pitching Guy (Trevor Moore)
Oh, thank you. And you got some mail.