theSketchDb

Opposite Day Lawyer

8 1 rating

Sketch Info

In a courtroom, Mr. Lawyerstein (Trevor) informs the jury that Opposite Day has just begun, and gets into a battle of wits with the prosecutor (Zach). The sketch ends with another topless plug for WKUK on DVD.

Quotes

0:31
Lawyer (Zach Cregger)

Before you do, I want you to take a minute right now, and I want you to think. I want you to think about poor Mrs. Picklecopter. I want you to think about that baby she never got to have.

1:24
Mr. Lawyerstein (Trevor Moore)

I just want to say that wouldn't it be crazy if despite all that evidence you guys still came back with a not guilty verdict? Think about it. It'd be crazy.

1:48
Judge (Darren Trumeter)

All right, Mr. Lawyerstein, I'm not going to allow you to sit here and bribe the jury. I'd like the jury to ignore all the defense's previous statements.

1:57
Mr. Lawyerstein (Trevor Moore)

As would I. Good. Good. It's a fair call. It's a fair judge. I'm glad we're playing that way. I'm proud to say that that was a test, and you all.

2:12
Judge (Darren Trumeter)

Let's just move this along, sir.

2:25
Mr. Lawyerstein (Trevor Moore)

But as you're about to write down your verdict, I feel it's my duty to inform you that in exactly five seconds, it will officially become opposite day.

2:38
Judge (Darren Trumeter)

Hey, Mr. Lawyerstein, I will not allow that mental trickery in my court. I would like the jury to know that it is not, in fact, opposite day.

2:48
Mr. Lawyerstein (Trevor Moore)

That's not right, Your Honor.

2:50
Lawyer (Zach Cregger)

Lawyerstein, you tell these people that it's not opposite day!

3:09
Judge (Darren Trumeter)

Hey, I will hold you in contempt!

3:11
Mr. Lawyerstein (Trevor Moore)

Uh, thank you. I mean, boo!

4:06
Mr. Lawyerstein (Trevor Moore)

Jinx! Personal jinx. You can't speak till I say your name.

4:09
Judge (Darren Trumeter)

Hey, Mr. Lawyerstein, I will hold you in contempt!

4:11
Mr. Lawyerstein (Trevor Moore)

Contempt! Double jinx. Neither of you can speak till I say your names.

4:15
Mr. Lawyerstein (Trevor Moore)

All right. Now we're gonna do Court My Way, the Lawyerstein way. Alright music up. Uh huh, alright! Ladies, tops off. Alright!

4:38
Mr. Lawyerstein (Trevor Moore)

And kids, I don't know what time it is there, but right here, it's 4:20. Uh, 420. Uh, 420. Uh, 420. Uh, 420.

4:46
Juror (Timmy Williams)

The Whitest Kids You Know, coming soon to DVD Uncensored!