Sketch Info
Part 3 of European History
An enactment of the interaction between Europeans and Martians in 3024 predicts that the Martians will look like jerks.
Cast & Characters
Quotes
Martian (Sam Brown)
Yeah, all we do is count rocks and eat... rocks
Martian (Darren Trumeter)
I hate this super advanced civilization that lies just below the planet's surface.
Martian (Sam Brown)
Yeah, I wish someone would come along and turn our bodies into fuel.
Colonizer (Zach Cregger)
We are the Europeans, and we come in peace to teach you the ways of agriculture so that your planet might flourish.
Martian (Sam Brown)
No deal! We want you to double-cross us at the Intergalactic Peace Summit, then develop a way to grind our bodies into petroleum!
Colonizer (Zach Cregger)
I won't do it!
Colonizer (Timmy Williams)
Now, now, Zack, we are their guests here. For wherever humans or aliens need assistance throughout the galaxy, we Europeans will be there to aid them. For that is the white man's burden.
Colonizer (Zach Cregger)
Ah, Timothy, times have changed. Let us be more politically correct.
Colonizer (Timmy Williams)
You're right, Zach. For that is the white man and woman's burden.