Sketch Info
See More of smoking
An overzealous stoner dad (Kyle Mooney) welcomes an old friend (Dave McCary) into his chaotic home for a bizarre smoke session. Shot in a loose POV style, the sketch captures Kyle's hilariously incoherent weed-speak—full of “purp-scurp,” “skunk-gunk,” and "dank-ass, bomb-ass". As the visit spirals into absurdity, the friend realizes Kyle may not even smoke weed.
Cast & Characters
Kyle
Kyle Mooney
· Cast
Dave
Dave McCary
· Cast
Quotes
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
I got some good bomb-ass dank-ass from up north.
Dave (Dave McCary)
Oh, sick.
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Yeah, purp scurp.
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Oh, you met my daughter, dude?
Dave (Dave McCary)
No.
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Oh, that's Candy, man.
Dave (Dave McCary)
Hey, Candy.
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Yeah, man. Sorry, she's probably acting a little funny, dude. We just gave her some edibles.
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Oh, I forgot to tell you, dude, I got a new bong, too, dude. It's a Python brand bong, hand blown, glass blown.
Dave (Dave McCary)
Um say that again, sorry...
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
I got a new bong, too, dude. It's a Python brand bong, hand blown glass blown. Dude, put some nugs in there, dude, crystallize, man. Then you'll be in a cloud of puff-puff pass man.
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Where's my blink blink at?
Dave (Dave McCary)
Your what?
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
My blink blink skunk, dude, some real skunk skunk. Dang, it's bomb ass too, dude -- some real bomb-ass dank-ass.
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Let's yes ah ooh, let me get it then let's box-hot, dude.
Dave (Dave McCary)
Excuse me?
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Let me get it and then let's box hot, dude.
Dave (Dave McCary)
I don't know what that means.
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Box hot the place, dude.
Dave (Dave McCary)
Hot box?
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Yea man...
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Oh, dang, dude, she's... She's dealing.
Dave (Dave McCary)
She's dealing?
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Yeah man.
Dave (Dave McCary)
Dealing what?
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Dude, she deals. She hooks it up, dude, fatty style.
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
By the way, you can get an eighth pound gram for eighth pound.
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Dude, when you can get some real skink-ass, bomb-ass, dank-ass skunk like that, dude hnnm
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Pass that here.
Dave (Dave McCary)
Pass what there?
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Ooh, that is some good ass, dank-ass purp scurp. Wooo! That's some skunk gunk gunk dude!
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Purp scurp from up north, dude, Cadapalana.
Dave (Dave McCary)
What?
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Cadapalana, dude, down up north, dude, off the one five. That's the place dude because they got the farmers, man.
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
It's kush bushes, dude. That's that- it's like scientifically proven, dude, to just- because they take the ThC splice.
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Put a little nug-nug in there, dude. Make sure it's crystalized. Dude, the fumes make it happen, dude. Wooo!
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Dang man where'd you get skunk gunk gunk? Some real purp scurp scurp scurp burp durp
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
Dude I'm sorry dude, I'm tripping blaze.
Dave (Dave McCary)
Alright man, do you even smoke weed?
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
No, dude no way.
Dave (Dave McCary)
Do you know what it is?
Kyle (Kyle Mooney)
No man... but I want to get high!