theSketchDb

You're Peeing upon My Leg

7 1 rating

Sketch Info

Two English gentlemen (Zach, Trevor) are at an impasse in the park.

Quotes

0:12
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

I say, sir, you seem to be peeing upon my leg.

0:16
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

Huh? What's all this?

0:18
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

Uh, good, sir, you seem to be peeing upon my leg.

0:22
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

Huh! Well, it seems to me that your leg's in the way of my pee stream.

0:28
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

Yes, yes, well, I'm sure you'd find if you would just kindly angle your pee stream a fraction to the left, that it would find its way to the ground quite uninterrupted.

0:37
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

And I'm quite sure that if you'd but move your leg a fraction to the left, you'd find it would cease to be peed upon.

0:43
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

Yes, yes, yes, yes, but my leg was here first.

0:47
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

Yes, and still I pee. It appears we're at an impasse.

0:52
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

Yes, I see, but you will eventually run out of pee, of which to expel upon my leg, thus leaving me the victor in this little battle.

1:00
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

Ah!

1:01
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

Hmm, touche, touche. And yet you merely delay the inevitable, because eventually that water bottle will be rendered dry and your bladder will follow in turn.

1:11
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

Can I say, boy?

1:12
Errand Boy (Timmy Williams)

Yes, Govenah.

1:13
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

Yes. Be a good chap. Run down to Boobies Water Pub, return here with a half litre. You're a good lad and steady. There'll be more employment where that came from. Ha!

1:22
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

Uh, I say, boy, I'll give you a whole two pence not to run to Boobies Water Pub and instead to go home and mind your studies.

1:28
Errand Boy (Timmy Williams)

Oh, boy, my studies!

1:29
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

You get to Boobies Water Pub or I'll box your ears!

1:32
Errand Boy (Timmy Williams)

Right.

1:33
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

Right. And still I pee.

1:37
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

Yes, yes, you still pee and I still stand. And I can stand here all night. For I am unemployed.

1:44
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

Ah, as it is with me.

1:45
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

Aha! Then you chant long before this errand boy to supply you with your future peace dream.

1:50
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

I shall offer him sexual favors.

1:52
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

Sexual favors? But he's just a boy.

1:54
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

But we are British.

1:56
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

Touché.

1:57
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

And yet, you overlook something. How do you plan to perform these sexual favors you intend to promise this boy if your genitalia is indefinitely committed to the act of peeing upon my person?

2:08
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

I happen to know that the child enjoys golden showers.

2:11
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

Aha! then his face will have to interrupt your pee-string, thus freeing my leg of its flow.

2:16
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

Ah! The boy shall take up the act of peeing upon your leg, and I, in turn, will pee upon his face.

2:23
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

You clever devil. The game is on.

2:26
Gentleman (Zach Cregger)

It's a gentleman's challenge. May the best man win.

2:30
Gentleman (Trevor Moore)

We all know the story by now. William Shakespeare and Sir Francis Bacon continued on that way and the final plays they were working on were never finished. They battled on into the night.